What does a Jew do when he finds money on the street? He picks it up and is probably happy it was there.

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Your mom is so fat she's overweight

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If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would he be doing? Scratching at the top of his coffin.

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you had me at "hello", no need to add "you're under arrest"

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Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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Nicole: Shove it where the sun don't shine! Katlyn: I'm richer than you! Nicole: Shut your frickin' mouth! Katlyn: You'll be bankrupt! (This conversation was recorded while Nicole and Katlyn were playing Monopoly. They both died in a car accident later that day...)

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roses are red violets are too im bleeding

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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Yo mama so fat , when she went to the doctors office and stepped on the scale they said please, your weight, not your phone number .

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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Janey Had her first kiss with Jonny. Jonny choked on her ridiculously large was of gum and died.

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Yo mammas so stupid she has a profound intellectual disability.

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How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

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Too bad, because UNTIL YOUR FUCKING "POWER OF HUMAN KIND" CAN SUMMON UP A FUCKING EYEBALL! NOTHING WILL MAKE UP FOR THIS SHIT! "Oh, my the good old phonebook, I will... Now... try... to... seduce... you... with... my... "goodness" As far as "oh I know where you live", well nobody here is hiding fagface! So you come out of your "darkness or shadows or whatever" and let me stab out both your fucking eyes! And we are STILL NOT GOOD! And yeah, have your faggots stop calling themselves Nero.

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Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

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The grandfather's grandson said, "They charged me $10 just for a cup of coffee!" The grandfather said, "They charged me with bayonets."

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

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What do you call a person mowing a lawn? A Mexican

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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why was sally bleeding? they never buy band-aids over her nubs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Worlds first anti joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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