Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

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Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

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I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

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What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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What happened to your hamster? It died.

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I have suicidal thoughts

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Your momma is so old that she might die soon!

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Q: how do you make a clean naz dance? A: put a lil boogy in it? NOOO SUCK IT!!!

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~Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was dead. ~ ~Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was stapled to the monkey!!!

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What did the Mexican Have for Thanksgiving Dinner? A Turkey you racist!

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Why did the police officer arrest the black guy? Because the guy was black and the police officer was racist.

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What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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River Ravi flows in which state? Liquid state.

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Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

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Why was six afraid of seven? He was wanted for murder.

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Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

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Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

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One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answered him in a such a simple and concise way, that the little boy understood.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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