- Anti Joke

What did the sniper say when a newsreporter asked what he felt when he shot a terrorist? The sniper replied: Recoil.

split your ass cheek

What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

Why don't jews believe in Jesus Because jews believe Jesus Christ was not their savior

what did the Nazi do when his Jewish rabbit died? silly Nazi rabbits don't have religion

Why did the lady have a birthmark on her leg? Because she came out of her mother's leg.

What's worse than a murderer? Two murderers.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

Q: Whats the difference between a watermelon and a infants head? A: One is fun to beat a with a hammer, and the other is the infants head.

What is worse than a sharknado? A bullcano.

Alright then, call me sometime then.

Adele Gordon walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' Because she is a horse lol.

man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

theres this guy that i REALLY like but today he was putting something in my locker, it was gumbie the little green bendy thing but i didnt want it to be in my locker so i slammed my locker, except the only thing was that his pinky was in the way!!!! oh gosh i felt soooooo bad!!!! turns out he went to the hostpital and got stitches!!!!!!! that made it worse on me!!!!!! he said he was finee but i still cant let that go!!!!!

what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

im a willy bum bum

A Chinese man a Mexican and an American are all on a plane. They are all trying to get rid of stuff they have to much of in their country. The chinese man throws out a bowl of rice and says " we have to many of these in our country" the mexican throws out a taco and says " we have to many of these in our country" the American throws out the mexican and says "we have to many of these in our country"

When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

Black people

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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