A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What does the rubbish do when it is depressed? It breaks down.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I just found out i have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

The bears will win the Super Bowl

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats Big, black, and in your moms underwesar? A snake that escaped from a pet store which is causing a lot of commotion in the local community. Meanwhile your mom is getting drilled by a big psycho who escaped the mental institution. JMM

thumb_up thumb_down -24

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A hat

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats the worst thing about walking through a meadow of dead babies My boner

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the bartender say when the black man walked into the bar? Hello, what would you like to drink?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did the chicken go to the man? TO ask if he wants sex for money

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is white and square? A ping pong block

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

thumb_up thumb_down -24

While i was driving, my son asked, 'Have you had an accident in the last 5 years Dad?' And I replied, 'You're almost four now son'.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a guy fell off a roof of a mansion he died his family cried F.Y.I i have Alzheimers toilet monster

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why is andreas making a pizza? since he dosent get laid he likes the feeling of the sauce stinging on his dick

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock Knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops