Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

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What's similar about a mole and an eagle? They both are blind and dig through the ground. Except the eagle.

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Fire is red Water is blue Earth is brown Air is transparent

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What's brown and rhymes with poop? Dr. Dre.

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roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

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Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

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A doctor walks into a bar. It's his day off and decides to celebrate after a long week of working.

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A man trips on an old bottle. He picks it up and out pops a genie. "I will grant you three wishes!" says the genie. "Whatever you so desire is my com--" "I'm already late for a meeting!" shouts the man. He drops the bottle and continues on.

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A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

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what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

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Roses are red vielots are blue but they aren't as sweet as you.Can you be my Valentine ny choclate cupcake will you me my choclate

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

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Why did Alex fall off the swing? he had no arms

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Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

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What green and has wheels? grass I lied about the wheels

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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if i get 1,000 likes ill kill your hole family

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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A woman was at a family reunion and her husband's mother walked in. She has a chocolate allergy so the woman says the her husband,"I need more chocolate!"

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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haha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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