Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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If a chicken and a taco cross a highway how many cats does it take to milk a turkey? Cactus cause the dog had two black eyes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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A baby walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "what'll ya have, Sport?" The baby's family runs in with a video camera screaming for joy over his first steps.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

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yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

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once upon a time there was a cripple little girls who lived in an orfanage were she got raped then beat .

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My son lost his first tooth today...so proud. Took my punch like a champ

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

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A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

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I really did not understand the chapter. Is there anyway I can meet with you at a later time to discuss what I did wrong?

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What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

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Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

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What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

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what do you throw at a mexican man when he is drowning? his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops