Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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A potato walked into a bar and ordered a large bowl of french fries

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Paul Okay I was expecting you

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This is the concept of anti-joke.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, All you HATERS of Bieber, Go sick your mother.

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Q: How many children did it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The light bulb was already screwed in and exploded after excessive tampering

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[INSERT ANTIJOKE HERE]

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Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

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I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

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What's worse than dying in the holocaust Dying on the last day of the holocaust

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Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

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ok

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Korean man, "Hi, I'm the President of North Korea!" Man, "Oh wow! What's your name?" Korean man, "Kim."

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your dad's gay. just let that sink in.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? The black man has a family of four and is working 12 hours a day at a minimum wage job to afford the high rent, the utility bills, and to buy the pizza to feed his family.

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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Z.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

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What do you call a barrel full of monkeys? A game, you idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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