Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a train? Because she was blind, deaf, and most likely uneducated in the field of train conduction.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the monkey say to the receptionist? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What smells bad and is black, A very dirty dead decomposing body.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are red carnations are white dont go to bed or ill f**k your friend dwite

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The Earth is a nice place to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Sally was ugly like a shaven babboon So she created her own little cacoon And within a week she finally emerged And she smelled like shit what a psycho

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense Microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

an object in motion continues to stay in motion unless acted upon by an external force :)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

i fell like im going to reverse john becase i ate a bikle penis jackson

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What starts with a 's' and ends in 'ex'? Sex -XH

thumb_up thumb_down +2

there is a blonde, red head, and brunet held captive in afghanistan. The people say whats your last word to the red head, she says tornado... they turned and she escaped, they say to the brunet what is your last word, she says tsunami.. they turn and she escaped. They go to the blonde and say what is your last word, she says fire... she is then shot rapidly and she dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Jewish business man cross the road? A: to go to his reasonable paying job at a business.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" A few people laugh, but the horse, incapable of speech, does not. He is unfamiliar with this location and begins to panic. In his panic his leg is broken. He is put down shorty thereafter.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was young Ferdinand sad? He had a very rough day. In the morning he woke up. To find a man in his room, and then the man raped him. Then, Ferdinand found out that his whole family was killed by an angry rat. Then, he realized his grandma took away all his Christmas presents and ate them. Then, the angry rat showed up and brutally murdered Ferdinand and ate him. The rat then burped up Ferdinand and his family's bones, and on Ferdinand's bone there was something wrong, indicating that Ferdinand had cancer and would've died the next day anyway. The rat then got cancer from Ferdinand, and it died. That is why Ferdinand was sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red my underwear is brown I just sharted my pants

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops