why did the computer crash? it didn't

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I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

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A man decided to commit suicide. He did.

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lets go to the beach beach lets go get away story of josh browns life

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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A: What is faster than a speeding bullet? B: Light

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open the presents.

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Q: Why do black people drink Grape Soda? A: Because it queches their thirst, and satisfies them.

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What's circular and round A circle

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Why does it take women to cum slower than men? Who cares

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Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you, but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl empty and so is your head.

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How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

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How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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Why did little timmy cry? He was nailed to a ceiling fan.

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I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs jetskiiing? I don't know but it seems a highly improbably situation.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a mini ? two in the front, two in theback and 96 in the ash tray

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children burning

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i read the terms of service when i posted this

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What's three times as dangerous than a war? Three wars.

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There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

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Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

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why did the chicken cross the street i dont know thats why im asking you

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*Knock Knock* "Who's There?" "Delivery" "Oh right, I just ordered pizza"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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