How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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What did the little boy with no arms get for cristmas? A football.

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Too bad, because UNTIL YOUR FUCKING "POWER OF HUMAN KIND" CAN SUMMON UP A FUCKING EYEBALL! NOTHING WILL MAKE UP FOR THIS SHIT! "Oh, my the good old phonebook, I will... Now... try... to... seduce... you... with... my... "goodness" As far as "oh I know where you live", well nobody here is hiding fagface! So you come out of your "darkness or shadows or whatever" and let me stab out both your fucking eyes! And we are STILL NOT GOOD! And yeah, have your faggots stop calling themselves Nero.

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What did the framer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Your mom is so fat she's overweight

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What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

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a man walked into a bar because he needed a part time job to support his family.

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Harold Camping and the May 21st 2011 rapture.....

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What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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why did the older man give candy to the little kids? he was in a parade

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So, how 'bout that airline food?

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Roses are Red, violets are blue,love can not tell how much I love you!!

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Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

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Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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the holocaust

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knock knock whos there? orange orange who? orange you pissed off your wifes taking in the ass from another guy right now?

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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a man walks into a bar and it hurts

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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