Whats worse than getting punched in the balls? Getting punched in the balls twice.

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People say the sky's the limit................................ but there's footprints on the moon.

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Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

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what did bob say to joey, nothing joey's dead

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

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Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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