Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was mauled by a tiger.

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"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

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Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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69 :)

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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How do u make a fat person cry......... tell em mc donnalds is closed (^_^)

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yo mama so fat, she got more chins than china town

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What's something that really sucks? Having a homicidal cat on your chest.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah!

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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say cheese

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dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting anal raped twice

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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A cat walks into a Chinese restaurant. It is then asked to leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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