What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

What's the difference between Jews and Germans? Jews are allowed to have an opinion about the Holocaust and hoot and holler and threaten anyone who has a different opinion than they. The sad, anti-joke part of this is that most morons will actually support this tyrannical bullying behavior. Also, special taxes against Germans that they're not allowed to have a problem with. I guess slavery is okay if you're White.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

2 + 2 = fish

A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled I've cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

Hey, austin, what are you doing?

how do u kill a black kid ..... stabb him in the face with a nife

America were the American dream is something only foreigners believe in

What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

10+10=20. 20+20=40 40-10=30 I have 2 penises.

What did the man say when he saw a purple cow? Nothing. He was blind.

A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

Q: What did the Black man say to the kool ade Man? A: You're not real -BonkersLive

Guns don't kill people; high speed bullets and sharp projectiles launched at high speeds usually inflict painful and possibly fatal wounds that may kill someone. That someone loves and is loved by others.

knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

Why does Santa Clause not have children? Because he only "comes" once a year

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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