What do you call a room full of Jews? A gas chamber.

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

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man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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A bench doesn't breathe, apparently Mexicans do.

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

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A. Do you know what they call Bing Crosby in Sweden? B. No. A. Bing Crosby.

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where does a person with one leg work? anywere

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Dan walked into a jelly fish

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

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A black man, a white man, and a group of Jews were all walking down the street. They got hit by a bus.

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Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

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How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

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How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

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What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

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haha

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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