Why did the man jump in front of the car? He was clinically depressed, his wife left him and took the kids, he just lost his job. He thought he saw a 20 dollar bill in the street So he stopped to pick it up, not realizing a car was speeding toward him.

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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Why did the boy loose his glass with milk? He got hit by a bus.

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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i know leaves are green because of chlorophyll but i don't know how to get a mortgage this is the kind if shit your parents pay for

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Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His sons funeral was on the other side.

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When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

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Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

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Why did the blonde kid that was really gay He got a bad case of HIV

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What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

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Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

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what did chloe say to alexis? you took my phone

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A lady walks into her bedroom and sees her boy friend having sex with another girl. She hears the phone ring and a voice says "your grandma died".

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Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

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Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops