Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

~Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was dead. ~ ~Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was stapled to the monkey!!!

The Holocaust

What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

Tough crowd tonight...

What did Jesus say when he walked on water? I'm drowning

roses are red violets are blue that's just the way god made them

(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

to boys are playing football 1 ses pass tje over ses pass wot

Why is six afraid of seven? Because Osama bin Laden is dead.

A Chinese man fails a math test

What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

Why did the blond girl get fired from the M&M Factory. Becouse she removed all the W's

taking out the trash... at night

So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

you lose.

Your mom is so fat she could consider going on biggest loser, where she might be able to make a lot of money.

A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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