Q: What's the answer to this question? A: The question to this answer.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had several drinks, conversed animatedly, and heartily enjoyed themselves.

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Q: Why did the boy eat an apple? A: A strong man stuffed it down his throat.

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racism...deal with it!

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knock knock who's there? dave dave who? dave suddenly burst into tears as his grandmothers altzimers became so serious she forgot his name

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

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why was the boy crying he had cancer

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What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

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roses are red carnations are white dont go to bed or ill f**k your friend dwite

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A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

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Why did the black man go to KFC? Ever since the economic downfall Kentucky Fried Chicken is the only remaining food dispensary in a 5 miles radius.......and hes black

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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L's I's that took Viagra.

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How do you make a black plumber cry? - kill his whole family

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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A man fell off a cliff... He died a vicious death.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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Why did michael jackson wear white gloves around young boys? His doctor recommended that he do so due to bad circulation.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear? A gorilla with with a banana in each ear? Unless it has a name, then refer to it by it's name. be polite.

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A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

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Leave. Now.

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What did the DJ play at the disco? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill? Confused, mind bruised, it seeps out It seeps out, it seeps out Face down, home town looks so grey Looks so grey, looks so grey Convexed you bend, twist and shout Twist and shout, twist and shout Stand up brush off get moving Get moving, get moving What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) Face down, home town, face down, home town Face down, home town, it looks so grey (x4) What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/monster_lyrics_automatic_the.html All about Automatic The: http://www.musictory.com/music/Automatic+The

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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