Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it does whatever the hell it wants to do!

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Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

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Why are there clocks on stoves? Because it is a convenient way to tell the time.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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Tony Romo

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What did the Holocaust survivor say when asked about their memories in the deathcamps? A: I'd rather not think about it.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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Why didn't Wendy want to sit down? Because her dad put a hand full of needles in her anus. - D

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What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

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Johnny walked up to his teacher one day and asked her to explain to him how babies were made. She instead whispered back to him, "Let me show you". He declined, because he wasn't prepared to be a father.

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If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

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I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

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What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage.

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u suck

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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What's a ghost's favourite country? Fraaaaance.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

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what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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why couldnt the polish people live in the outhouse? because the mexicans in the basement were too noisy

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops