I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What do you say when a black person is walking through wal-mart? Prisoner

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

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A man named Jack has three kids. The oldest is named Jordan, the middle one is named Kim, and the youngest is named Alex. One day Jordan walked up to his father and asked him how his day was. His father replied, "It was fine."

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Firgen and the blung brigade

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An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

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A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

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its snowing on mount fuji

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Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

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You're momma's so fat..Oh wait she's not.

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What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

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What did the man say to the other man? Hi

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Why didn't the man have a vagina? Trick Question. Everybody has a vagina.

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What do you call a man who can't sing. Untalented and he should probably find a new profession

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

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I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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A blond, brunette, and red head jump off a building. Who hit the ground last? The red head because she was last to jump.

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Ain't idn't a word.

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How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

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Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

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,try this on a girl, say "can I pop your cherry.........soda bottle cap off your cherry soda bottle?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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