- Anti Joke

So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

What kind of words did the terrorist say on his date? His last ones.

What did the prostitute get for Christmas Money

There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

What's worse than taking a bite in an apple and finding a worm in it? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

There were two muffins in an oven. They were forgotten about by the baker so they cried, caught fire, burned to death, and formed a medium-sized pile of ashes.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

Whats more realistic than evolution? Everything

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his wang!

Why did the drunk man puke? Because he was drunk.

It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

What did one man say to the other? "hi other man"

Why did the bird fall. Its tree got cut down.

Why did the black family cry? Tyler Perry died

What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

So there were two... sigh... I hate my life....

whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.