What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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Q.Why did the boy fail to complete his homework? A. He was a loaf of bread

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. somebody recognizes him and immidiately asks for his autograph

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

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don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

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Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side (The original AntiJoke)

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What did the man with aids say? "I'm dying and there is nothing you can do about it"

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I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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Wha did the fireman say when he burnt his finger? Shit.

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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What is worse than a person eating cereal? A black person eating white children.

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

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i died. new product by steve jobs

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What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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