So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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every knight i see an owl at window

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What's the difference between a duck? both of it's legs are the same.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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One cow, determined to make a difference in the world, gets killed in a meat packing plant. We killed him, and we killed his dreams.

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If life though you lemons, through skittles at them and say tast the freakin rainbow.

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What's worse than someone who thinks Sting is a nice guy? Sting.

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Why did the mother get upset with her son? Because he sexually experimented with his cousin.

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Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple All of the antijokes about it

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor dog

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That awkward moment when you walk in on your economics teacher shagging Danii ... Anyone ?

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What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

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what's worse that reading something that just wasted seconds of your life? reading this and wasting more seconds.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

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You know what they call men who make kitchen jokes? Single.

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What is the difference between a dog and God? A dog is physical living creature while God is a supernatural being.

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I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

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What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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