So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting owl Interrupting owl- HOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

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Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

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What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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Moo! I'm a goat!

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

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Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

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What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

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what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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What is the difference between a black man and a speed bump? A black man is a living thing and a speed bump is not.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

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how many people does it take to take over the world aperently just 1 me

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what do you call jerry sandusky with a kid in a shower jerry sandusky

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Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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Your mom is so fat when she sat on wallmart she lowered the prices

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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