what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't you hit the little mexican boy riding a bike? - it's probably was not your bike and it would have been against the law if you did so it was the kind thing to do -AHW

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A white person at Harvard

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't the boy drop his ice cream He was hit by a bus and he wasn't eating ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did u hear bout the guy who went to the donut shop yeah he has brown hair

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock, Knock. Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a banana and a monkey? They're both yellow, except the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Women Sports.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops