- Anti Joke

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

Why did the man walk into the grocery store? To provide an alibi for his identical twin who was committing 1st degree murder at the time.

What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Nothing... (The game.)

What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

Why shouldn't you worry about having a baby? Because with all these jokes, babies aren't even going to be around anymore. "What's funnier than a dead baby?" "A dead baby in a clown costume"

You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period. Damnit, ignore that.

Why is the ground wet It rained

Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? Their skin color.

A duck walks into a bar.... Duck: Can I have a glass of water? Bartender: How would you like to pay for it? Duck: Put it on my bill

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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knock knock. who's there? Alticka Alticka who? Alticka pudding cup.

What's black and always in the back of a cop car? The seat.

Your mum is so dead, when I kick her she doesn't move.

Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

whats deead and gone lewis`s dog. well now it is

Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

What did the man do after he got in his car with out his keys? He started it up and drove Away

69 :)

Why did the man walk into the grocery store? To provide an alibi for his identical twin who was committing 1st degree murder at the time.

What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Nothing... (The game.)

What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

Why shouldn't you worry about having a baby? Because with all these jokes, babies aren't even going to be around anymore. "What's funnier than a dead baby?" "A dead baby in a clown costume"

FIONN'S LIFE

You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period. Damnit, ignore that.

Why is the ground wet It rained

Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? Their skin color.

A duck walks into a bar.... Duck: Can I have a glass of water? Bartender: How would you like to pay for it? Duck: Put it on my bill

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Anti Joke

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