Why can't Tommy ride his bicycle? Because Tommys' bike has a missing pedal.

Knock knock! Who's there? The doorbell wasn't working.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

two men are sitting in a desk next to each other learning math when the equation 22+1 came up. the frist man says to the second, "24" and they both giggled. the second guy then slips his lips over the the first guy and whispers, "hey, i just thought of something funnier than 24" to which the first replies with a slight of laughter, "lemme hear it." so the second says with laughter "25".

banana

Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

An Asian walks into a Chinese restaurant. Then he decides that he would prefer Mexican instead, and drives to a Taco Bell.

What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

Why was patrick sad? he was raped then murdered then super raped

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is an active member of a taliban.

Q. want to hear the biggest lie in the world ? A. sure A.I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

a group of jews went to a factory to apply for jobs. Only one came out.

what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

why did the chickan cross the road? who let the chickan out?

Guess what I saw... Wood, I'm a carpenter.

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

knock knock who's there? be. be who? *hits you with a batterang. BECAUSE ITS BATMAN

A man walks up to a girl and says "Hello there" The girl doesn't respond because she has been deaf and blind for her entire life and doesn't know he is there. Potatoes.

A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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