When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

When the loaf of bread crashed the car the wife was mad. What do you think she did? She put Nutella on him toasted him and then ate him

Do you know who's gay? Homosexuals.

what do you call a 2-foot blue scottishman named max? max

What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? The black guy is a sentient human being, and the bucket of shit is just a metal container filled with feces

Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

An African-American man calls KFC. An employee answers. "Thank you for calling KFC." The man replies, "I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number."

A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

Why was the 15 year old boy always alone in his bedroom making strange noises? Because he was struggling to fight back the tears following his single mother's recent suicide, driven by her despair over the reality that her son was an out of control drug addict, just like his no-good father who ran out on them.

Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

Every human being has some kind of penis <3

Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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