What is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo Mama so stupid because she's been addicted to marijuana since she was a teenager, and has lost many brain cells. Resulting in her forgetting simple things like your birthday, her own name, etc. She has also developed lung cancer. She's predicted to die in two months if she continues to smoke as she does now.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the main difference between an angry white man and an angry black man? The angry black man is probably of African descent.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man with a blue house wears a blue shirt and wears blue jeans. Someone from a red house with a red shirt knocks on his door. He is invited in because they are friends and both have a wonderful time.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If you are floating down main street in a canoe and your front right propeller falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When's the best time to kill a black man? Never. Committing murder is a felony and constitutes as highly immoral.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Women outside of the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar... he is blind so it isn't funny

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the weirdest way to get AIDS Having Sex

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the square root of 69 Jimmy? Square root of 69 is 8 something right? Cus I've been trying to work it out oh. Jimmy! It's 8.306623863 >.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Check out page 4016 :)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops