Whats up with your nan? Copious amounts of lsd

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

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Whats funnier then a dead baby a dead baby dressed as a clown

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me your mom you dumbass and let me in

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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Have you ever seen a dinosaur? No

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Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

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police are looking for max 'cheesehead' harrison

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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Did you hear the one about the man who kept losing his memory? I don't remember how it goes... by the way, did you hear the one about the man who kept losing his memory?

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whats stupid and gay all of my friends

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How old are you? 20

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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Here's another:

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

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Why did the jew kill himself? He heard a raciest joke and went into a period of depresion causing him to lose all will to live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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