Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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What was Hatsune Miku's last word? bokuwaumaresoshitekizukushosenhitonomanegotodatoshittenaomoutaitsuzukutowanoinochivocaloidtatoesoregakisonkyokuwonazoruomochanarabasoremoiitoketsuinegiwokajirisorawomiageshiruwokobosudakedosoremonakushikizukijinkakusurautanitayorifuanteinakibannomotokaerutokowasudenihaikyominaniwasuresararetatokikokororashikimonogakietebousounohatenimieruowarusekaivocaloid...

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Why is three afraid of four? Because four ate five.

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what did the elephant step on when he was running through the jungle? .... a coke machine.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to a chicken

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Where can you find a good lawyer? At a reputable law firm.

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What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

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What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

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Knock Knock Nobody answered because the people in the house were away.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

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Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

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What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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"Why did the chicken cross the road" "why" "to get to the gay guys house" "knock-knock" "who's there?" "The chicken..."

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i have a six pack.... of crayons......... just kidding i ate two of them

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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why did your parents die? because I thought it was funny...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

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A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

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Is your refrigerator running? No. That is highly improbable because a refrigerator has no arms or legs, also a refrigerator is not a human being, or alive in any manor and therefor cannot be moved with out an external force acted upon it.

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What do you call a midget on the moon? A midget.

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Where did Susie go when the bomb went of? Everywhere?

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where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops