What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

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knock, knok who's there? ya ya who? yahoo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

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Why was the man sad? Cause his dog fell off a cliff

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its body.

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Whats the differwnce between a little girl and a fridge? The fridge doesnt scream when i put meat in it

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Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

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my name is piare (peeair) because my balder is empty

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Roses are multicoloured Violets are multicoloured Mushrooms are great

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How do you call two black men on the moon? Astronauts.

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This stuff on espn about Jason Collins is very gay

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What would happen if you put a marshmellow in a tractor Because 7, 8, 9

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Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

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What do you get when you mix a baby and a fork? An abortion.

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What happens when a super saiyan eats a fully grown pineapple? hehe xd

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Knock, knock. Who's there? ...

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Mum: Black or white iPod? Her Son: Black Please, it'll run faster.

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mom:why oh why are you such an idiotic nuisance? bobby:THATS HOW YOU WANTED ME BORN!!REMEMBER?you asked the doctor to put something in me to make me so stupid i wouldnt remember WHO gave birth to me!!

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The Minnesota Vikings won a game.

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A blonde girl walks into a car.

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Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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