Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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Why do cats burp quietly, because they aren't men

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Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

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why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

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Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

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Why was the dwarf nicknamed The Anaconda? Because everybody loves a bit of irony.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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Dan walked into a jelly fish

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why was the clown sad? died of cancer and left his loving family to fend for themselves in this cruel, cruel world.

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Omg you bought a Prius? Children in Africa are starving and could have used that money to buy food.

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Leslie's husband admitted to being gay, which came to the surprise of no one, seeing as Leslie is a man.

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Hahahahaha your nan had HIV and died.lol

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Q: what's the difference between a young, geeky kid living in Wisconsin's basketball and Yao Ming's basketball? A: young, geeky kids cannot live in Wisconsin's basketball. Wisconsin is a state, and states cannot own objects because they aren't sentient beings. And Yao Ming's basketball... is just a regular basketball that happens to be owned by Yao Ming.

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssLOLIAMINTHESIDEBAR:Dyouaregaylol

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Why is the post under me so funny? Because the boy won't be able to play the x box!

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Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

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Q: What did the littl boy with cancer get for christmas? A: Nothing, he didnt make it that far.

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What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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Why is chad so gay? Its his choice.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? They're both purple... except for the elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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