Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

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Why did Tupac Shakur get shot? He was a famous and very controversial celebrity, which naturally led to having a lot of enemies.

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What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

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Why did the blackjack player gamble every night and day and not eat, sleep, or use the bathroom? To practice for a tournament in which the grand prize was to save his dying grandmother.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We don't know if he even did, how would we know why? There were no cameras at the intersection he crossed at. Therefor the question is unanswerable. Unless the chicken admits to it........ ........ Chickens can't talk.

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A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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Why did the black guy love his new shirt? Because it was 100% cotton

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

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Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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Why did the chicken cross the road---- because he's having financial and relationship related problems that make his life so hideously unbearable that he wants to kill himself and because he's a chicken and cannot overdose or hang himself he goes for the most viable option as to run across a busy street in hopes of getting smashed to oblivion by a car

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit. What's worse than a dead baby in a clown suit? Ten dead babies in a trash-can. What's worse than ten dead babies in a trash-can? One dead babie in ten trash-cans.

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69 :)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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Why does Timmy Teblow love penis? Logan Cole made him do it.

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? We're both elephants!

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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Hey

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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