Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

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i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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What did the boy do when he ran out of Pringles? He killed himself.

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Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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Your mom is so stupid, she thought the square root of pie was 3.14156

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I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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Gay's

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

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Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

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Jim bean takes out a can of- Let me guess- No.

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This comment has been removed for too many average votes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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