When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there?

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

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how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

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what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

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Why did Jessy crawl to her bed? Because she has no legs.

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic.........colby schluter.

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why did a bunch of black kids play in a pile of leafs? to have fun :)

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An early jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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Q. what is catness and pita name together pines

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hey John will you make some copies

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Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house? Well it was really nice.

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If a bear was mad he would be beary angry.

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A horse walked into a bar and ordered a drink. It was nothing out of the ordinary because the Everett-Wheeler interpretation of quantum mechanics is correct and he lived in a parallel universe in which the roles of humans and horses are reversed.

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Roses are black Violets are white I'm colorblind

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A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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