What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

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One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

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What hurts worse than a papercut? Divorce.

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Whats an Anti Joke

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Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

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who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? James and austin!!!!

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

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Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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why did the kid fall down the stairs? he had polio

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What do Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and Pamela Anderson all have in common? All of their last names end with an "n"

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Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

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What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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