Person 1: today my doctor said I'm dyslexic Person 2: oh yeah? Are you ahdd too?

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What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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why was the woman out of the kitchen, because she had to have sex with her husband in a bed

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It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

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This is an anti joke

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poop nuff said

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

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i have a six pack.... of crayons......... just kidding i ate two of them

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Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

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Is your refrigerator running? No. That is highly improbable because a refrigerator has no arms or legs, also a refrigerator is not a human being, or alive in any manor and therefor cannot be moved with out an external force acted upon it.

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How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

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im at school

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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Why did the black surgeon get fired? The hospital was low on funds due to the economic crisis, and had to let a few employees go.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

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Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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