What did the children say when the magician pulled a rabbit out of his hat? Nothing, but the parents called Animal Control, and the magician was imprisoned after a dog-fighting ring was discovered in Michael Vick's estate.

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What's 9+ 10?! 19

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What's black, white, and red all over? A intro of darkness, then redness then whiteness

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Why did Moses cross the road? He wanted to play Xbox with his friend Jeff. Moses was a 12 year old boy from California.

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how do you get a man with a gun out of your house? you don't.

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Patient: "Doctor I think I might be a homosexual." Doctor: "How can you tell?" Patient: "RAAIIINNBOOOOWW!!!"

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Guess what? What. This joke isn't funny

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What can make you pee? Liquid

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what do jason kidd and michael jackson have in common? they are both actually black

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Why did the student shoot his teacher? Because he was super depressed and was just diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. And he was black.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

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why did simran go to jessicas house? To go have a human taco

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Why was a member of the KKK laughing at another member who was his friend? Because he had just divorced his black wife who he recently found out that he had received AIDS from.

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why does my ass hurt? you have rectal cancer

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For New Years I want to spend more time with my... Video Games

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that feels sooooo good. -is what jacob says when his dogs hump his legs

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How do you get 100 people in one car. You can't.

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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A women's opinion.

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There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

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What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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