"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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When Miley Cyrus sticks out her tongue, people usually are there to take a photograph.

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Why did twenty mexicans run down a hill? There was a marathon in the area.

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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Why does a Jew, a catholic, and a buddhist eat pizza? because they like the way it tastes.

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How do you know if a black man was in your house while you weren't home? When you let them enter to babysit your children.

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mommy, mommy, the ice cream man is coming can i have a dollar? sure sweetie. YAY! Goes up to ice cream truck, ice cream man asks what would you like little boy, would you like chocolate, vanilla, str.... Ice cream man steals small boy.

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I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

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Whats black and cant read white paper? An African

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Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

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roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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Q: Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? A: Neither did he.

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women's rights.

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Why did Mary fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Who pushed johnny of the cliff? Certainly not Mary

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knock knock who's there? hope

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Whatever you do in life, give 100%… unless you’re giving blood.

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A police officer.

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(In a job interview) Interviewer: Name a time when you've failed sometime Me: I failed an HIV test last June, anything else?

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There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

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What did the priest say to the little boy? "Reading antijokes in rapid succession takes almost all humor from them."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Grim Reaper. The Grim Reaper who? Joking with me will not postpone your death.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The mothership came and your did a whole lot of scam

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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