Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

It said i can write my own joke so i did.

How do you starve a black man? Tell welfare to cancel food stamps

Whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags

What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

What did the dog say to the cat? I don't know actually

I'm a lion hear my threat **** you ***** and then go **** yourself. if your scared and you know it and you really want to show it crap your pants.

Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

- What do you call a black pirate? + A Nig-ARRRRRRRRRR - No, a pirate you fucking racist

-_- i like trains ... -_-

A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

Lewis

how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

person 1: wanna hear a knock knock joke? Person 2: sure! Person 1: okay you start person 2: knock knock Person 1: who's there?

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What's green and has four wheels? A dolphin. I lied about it having four wheels. I lied about it being green. I lied about the whole thing.

SHE GOT A BIG BOOTY SO I CALL HER by her real name because she is a woman and worthy of my respect.

My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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