What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

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A black man walks into a bar. He sits down and has a couple drinks. When he is finished, he generously tips the bartender and walks out.

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Why shouldn't you worry about having a baby? Because with all these jokes, babies aren't even going to be around anymore. "What's funnier than a dead baby?" "A dead baby in a clown costume"

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You suck big fat slobber

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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What's worse than losing your wallet? Having a miscarriage.

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What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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What did one say to the other woman? I have a penis

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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You know what rhymes with school? Hell.

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what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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YOLO

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Not because she had no arms, but because she just had no hands.

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Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

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religion

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A guy wants to build his house out of bricks. So, he hires some experts and they build his house with bricks.

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red OH SH*T MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!!!!!

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What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period. Damnit, ignore that.

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What's the difference between a mole and dynamite? - Moles don't explode... unless you fill them with dynamite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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