Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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What's worse, a dead baby or an abortion? A dead baby on a bayonet

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What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

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Knock Knock *opens the door*

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he was mentally handicaped

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What's the best time to visit a dentist? Generally every six months or so.

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Why did susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms... Why didn't she get up? She didn't have any legs... Why didn't anyone help her? She didn't have any friends. Then she died

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why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

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When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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Rebecca Black. That's it. That's the joke.

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learn the ropes?

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What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the boy have no ankles? Because his legs were amputated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops