man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

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a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

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Q.Whats the differents between justin bieber and a girl A.Nothing

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Why did the Mexican jump of the roof? Because he had a serious meth addiction that was destroying his family and he could not live with the awful things he did to get his fix.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a tumor Doctors give it 6 weeks before I die...

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Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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how do you stop a bus? Well, just up the road is a stop sign so the bus will stop there because it is illegal to go through a stop sign without stopping.

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A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

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Cleavlin has a shmaaala dik

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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How are cars made? By magic.

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A nuclear device is dropped on hiroshima. Does it make a sound? The answer is yes because the americans are laughing in Enola Gay

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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What's the difference between a murdered baby and a dead baby? Not much

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Why Did The Black Guy Eat Watermelon? Because he lives in south africa where they are commonly grown and needed a healthy snack.

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

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Penis Gabriel - Go eat some ice cream! Boner McDaniels - No. Penis Gabriel - Ok.

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What happens when two jews meet in the bus ? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's not worth telling a joke about that.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

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What's The Difference Between A Refridgerator And The Holocaust ? Not Much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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