As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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You ever hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither has she.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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I went to the doctor & he gave only 6 months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill, he said "that doesn't change the fact you're going to die soon."

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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What happens if you play CS:GO? Well you loose alot of fucking money.

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What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

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You know what assuming leads to... .....Assumptions.

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Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

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Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

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whats worse than failing your maths test? getting aids

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

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What time is it when a cow walks into your house? The time that your mother arives.

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Snow White found a magic lamp in the middle of the forest. She rubbed it and became pregnant because the spout was a penis.

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with abnormal sized genitalia.

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Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

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Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

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yomamas so fat it made Ben kanobi say thats no moon thats yo mama!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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