Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

stuarts mum

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are red, my eyes are bleeding

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why was sally bleeding? they never buy band-aids over her nubs.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Y- You O- are L- such a O- Loser

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down -10

It is Scientifically proven that, if you have a shower in china... you get wet

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red violets are blue cover me im goin in

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You have friends

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red.. Your child is also red.. I drove my car over his face. <3

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill jail brake

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red, violets are blue, tom cruise is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the door close? Because I closed it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I walked into my sister's room and slipped on a bra..........it was a boobie trap

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was 6 afraid of 7? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I saw my friend stabbing a girl. i asked what is he doing "Oh im just killing time" turns out the girls name is Time Demson. What a weird name i thought to myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why doesn't anybody like the octopus? There anti-social creatures by nature

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Gas prices are so high, I've had to resort to walking and riding my bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do u get to your favorite chinese restaurant? wok.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops