Roses are red, Violets at blue. My mind is twisted, Bend over bitch your about to get fisted.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

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Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

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*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

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How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

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(Pretend that your adopted, and no one loves you) Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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What do you call a baby that fell in lava Dead

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Where do you find a baby with no arms or legs? Where you left it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

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What do you call A potato who is covered in red refrigerators and is known as a potato. Fallafal

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his toadstool.

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What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

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Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you, but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl empty and so is your head.

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Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

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why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

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What did the racist black man say to the white man? Nothing they both died in a car accident.

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Caroline Kelly.

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He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

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Does anyone know any good ways to piss off an Grammar Nazi?

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A white,mexican and asian man are walking together on the beach. They find a genie lamp and the genie says"since there are 3 of u u each get one wish" the black man says " i wish that all the mexicans would go back to mexico. " the asian man says " i wish all the asians would go back to asia" and the white man says " wait so the mexicans and asians arent in america right?" the genie said "that is correct!" the white man says " oh ok ill just taqke a coke then!"

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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