Why did the ship crash into Italy? Because a woman took over driving it!

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why didn't the boy get his soda Because the cashier shot him

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Why was the kid hungry? Because he lived in Africa.

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What's the difference between Dick Cheney and Obama? When Obama shoots someone in the face it's bin Laden.

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What do you call some one in the middle of the ocean without a boat skrewed.

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What does an elephant and a plum have in common? They are both purple... except for the elephant

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What salad was served in the salad bar on the Titanic? Probably a selection of green leaves, radishes, cucumber, sliced hard boiled egg and cherry tomatoes, topped with cress, mixed seeds and a delicate dressing.

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Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

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What's Jewish and gay? Henry Shine

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What does tupperware and a walrus have in common? they both like a tight seal

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as the bar was made of metal and the man made forceful contact with the bar which resulted him in saying ouch.

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What did the homeless children get for christmas? Hypothermia

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your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He got AIDS and died.

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What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

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You come home and find your family dead. What do you do? Take a picture, post it on facebook

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

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Knock Knock, Ow my face

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if life throws you lemons you must be dyslexic

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Woman's Rights

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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