Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

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Yo mama is so fat she died

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

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What's black and doesn't work? My Blackberry, but luckily it was still under guarantee and the situation was solved swiftly and relatively drama free.

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R: Caught my wife cheating the other night. P: You bitter? R: Yes. I am.

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Why did the hamster not eat it's food? Because it wasn't hungry.

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.

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How do you make transportation in Harlem easier? Fix the roads and put in more stoplights.

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Why does the man ignore his wife? Because he is dead.

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What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

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Q: Why's everyone afraid of Friday the 13th? A: Justin Bieber's movie comes out.

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whoever said we're all soft on the inside was probably not an experienced doctor.

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If you were a cactus, why?

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I had an Anti-joke but i forgot it.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

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What is the different on a black guy and a bicycle ? The black guy steals the bicycle, but the bicycle dont steal the black guy. Yes, my bike got stolen ...

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Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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"My grandmother has AIDS. They are really nice ladies." -joke by comedian Daniel Cupps

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Shush girl, shut your lips do the Helen Keller and advocate the rights the disabled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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