Q:What did the man say when he walked into a bar. A: Ouch

A duck walks into a bar. the manager kicks him out considering animals are not allowed in the bar.

you were so loud you woke helen keller up!!!!!!!

Why was the boy sad? Because he looked behind him and saw a pedophile penis in his ass.

Knock Knock DAMMIT WOMAN MAKE ME A SAMMACH

Why did the Gazelle run away. Because a lion was nearby and as we all know, nature called for the lion to be a carnivore, so the gazelle is in danger of being consumed by the lion.

What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

Do you like fish-sticks? Love 'em. You like putting fish-sticks in your mouth? Yeah. What are you, a gay fish?

Q:Way C'nt U reed tHis? A: Because im retarted -ian surprenant

Q:What is yellow and has wheels A: A banana I was joking about the wheels

what did the deaf man say to his long-lost paraplegic brother? He did audibly make noise as deafness from birth meant that the capacity to form words through sound was much reduced, and instead simply gestured a greeting of loving familiarity.

What do Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder, and Ray Charles have in common? They were all mentioned in the previous sentence.

Nature is filled with wondrous things. No really, this isn't a joke.

Again, what is it called when you are safely inside at winter your power is out, but the streets are full of people as the weather gets really bad and people start bouncing around? Blizzard Entertainment. What is it called when a robot lets out gas? Electronic fArts.

Where does a successful black person live? Neverland.

Why did Billy fail his math quiz? Because he's stupid.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are many things that could be considered worse than finding a worm in one's apple. In addition, the matter of better or worse depends upon the point of view of the person in question, so what is worse than finding a worm in one person's apple may be preferable to finding a worm in another person's apple.

what did the elephant step on when he was running through the jungle? .... a coke machine.

whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

The Game

Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

Where did Susie go when the bomb went of? Everywhere?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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