Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

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Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

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Q:What do you call a duck that can fly? A:Bird.

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What does Mr. Newell have? - Diabetes. Mr. Newell has diabetes.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Chinese. What? Knock Knock.

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April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What starts with a P and ends with O-R-N? porn

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Johnny is walking around school when he sees a kid crying. He asked the kid what he was crying about and the kid said " I was trying to talk to a girl"

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Your mom's so ugly that after being ridiculed for for year she became very self conscience and killed herself. Her family was very sad for many years.

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A christian, a Muslim, and a Jew walked into a bar... Then the Muslim shoots the Jew and blows himself up.

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I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Mud.

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What is black and hangs from a white supremacists tree? His kids tire swing.

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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what's worse than finding mommy kissing santa clause ? slave trading

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Mitt Romney is in the mormon mafia has magic underpants and invented Obama Care but he still lost to a Black guy Who is a fine president.

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A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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the little boy got in a ice cream truck he cant sit down anymore

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Why are fire trucks red Well fire trucks have 4 wheels, and they have 8 people in them, 4+8, is 12, there are 12 inches in a foot, a foot is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a boat, boats sail the seven seas, fish are in the seven seas, fish have fins, the Finns defeated the Russians, Russians are red, And that is why fire trucks are red.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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giddy goat

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Knock Knock I'm sorry but the new don't ask don't tell laws require me to not answer but do feel free to come in for some tea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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