knock knock who's there? be. be who? *hits you with a batterang. BECAUSE ITS BATMAN

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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Q: What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit

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what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The doorbell wasn't working.

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If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

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Why do Mexicans stink? Because they're Mexican.

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An Asian walks into a Chinese restaurant. Then he decides that he would prefer Mexican instead, and drives to a Taco Bell.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland? Because if he's an actual historical figure he would have been born in modern day Palestine.

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What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

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Why was patrick sad? he was raped then murdered then super raped

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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What's big and hairy my penis just kidding It's Bigfoot

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Did you hear about the alter boy that wasn't molested by a priest?

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What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

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What did the black man get for Kwanza? AIDS

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What did your mom say after she went sky diving? Nothing, her parachute didn't open

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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