Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Q: whats worse that sucking at piano A: the world blowing up

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I once heard what I consider the best joke ever: But I am not telling it to you, because this is a the anti-joke section. Moral: You better find the secret "real jokes section" because its there, yeeeeeess yeeeeeeeeees of coursehahahahaha!

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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What did the children say when the magician pulled a rabbit out of his hat? Nothing, but the parents called Animal Control, and the magician was imprisoned after a dog-fighting ring was discovered in Michael Vick's estate.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

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(In a job interview) Interviewer: Name a time when you've failed sometime Me: I failed an HIV test last June, anything else?

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What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

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why couldnt jimmys feet touch the ground? he was hanging.

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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What do an eagle and a gopher have in common? They can both fly, except for the gopher

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There are 3 types of people in this world; people who can count, and people who can't

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

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how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

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It is Scientifically proven that, if you have a shower in china... you get wet

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hey i just met you and this is crazy so heres my number actually is dolan

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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two muffins were in an oven, one muffin said to the other, " ohmygod! its so hot in here!" the other muffin said,"AHHHHHH!!!! its a talking muffin!!"

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A car walked into a bar... wait no it didn't it has wheels.

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Why didn't the man say, "Hello, Morgan Freeman!" when his friend walked by? Because his friend wasn't Morgan Freeman.

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what do dead babies and turkeys have in common? you eat them on ocasions

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Why doesn't anybody like the octopus? There anti-social creatures by nature

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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