Justin Bieber

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Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

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Why did the man buy fruits at the store? Because they were available, on sale, and the man was hungry, so he wanted to eat fruit at that time, he then got into his car, but thought to himself first, "I should unlock my car so I can open the door," so he does so, and sits in the drivers seat eating his fruit, he drives off to his home, arrives safely, and greets his family as he enters the house, then they sit down, eat dinner, and go to sleep, the next day, the man goes to the store, and buys vegetables

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why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

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Bannana man do do do do do ect.

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Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

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Why was the white girl crying? Because she was sad.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and a refrigerator? Open a refrigerator and you will find food, typically refrigerated food like milk, eggs, you know, stuff like that.... When you open Donald Trump you will be charged with murder.

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Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

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A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

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Can I ask you a question? You just did

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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Why was the man bad at football? - he is chad henne

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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