- Anti Joke

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

Why was the deer afraid of the hunter because the smell of toasters

A man walks into a bar and a lady asks "Can I help you?" The man replies "No." and walks out of the bar.

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was scary.. made by Kevin Kool

At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

How do you have problems paying your monthly mortgage if you live in a box emmanuel

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

Why did the irishman go to the bar? because he was a designated driver and was picking up his friend.

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

What did the mexican say to the black guy before he went to work. Hey

why couldnt the polish people live in the outhouse? because the mexicans in the basement were too noisy

Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? To get to the other side.

How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

Why did the little boy cry? I cut off his toes one by one and shoved fireworks up his ass

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants.

So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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